Let me see that bloooggg

I really intend to keep up this blog, as I really enjoy reading my old blog (here, though you probably won't be able to see it unless you're a 13-year-old Japanese girl, who are the only people with Xanga accounts) from ye olde college dayes.

I am learning a lot in my old age, and as I approach the quarter century mark I'm also learning to appreciate myself more.

Things I accomplished in 2008 (two thousand, thousand, thousand, and eight):
1.  I took the LSAT.  Twice.  And the second time, I almost assuredly scored better than you, as I scored better than 99% of the LSAT-taking population.  As for deciding on whether to return to school and when, that is TBD.
2.  I working on becoming a family person.  I haven't quite accomplished this, but I talked to my mother, father and sister more this year than any year prior.  Maybe I'm getting more free time; maybe I'm getting better at not taking them for granted.

3.  I learned to love a little thing.  I'm still not in any way looking for a child, but I truly love my dog, caring for her, and making her happy.  She's a precious little thing, and a great cuddler.
4.  I improved my attitude.  Attitude isn't everything (remember these shirts?) but it certainly makes the day go faster.  I can still be myself and be a little less surly and demeaning towards others... well, kind of.
5.  I take care of myself.  Unlike time-lacking College Val, my legs are shaved, skin is moisturized, nails are painted and hair is neat.  On top of that, on occasion I work out.  It's also easier to have a good attitude when I'm not a stinky sasquatch with black heads. [[Ed. Ok, I never had blackheads, but it was intended for comic relief.  Har de har har, indeed.]]  I also refrained from drinking myself into oblivion too often and almost never ralphed.
6.  I bought a fancy purse.  I am officially a yuppie in my downtown, converted warehouse condo with my Design Within Reach furniture and Marc Jacobs purse.  Label me, ASAP.
7.  I blogged twice!  Hopefully I can be a little better at writing in '09, as it's my last chance this decade.  Additionally, I would love to put this journalism degree to use already.

That's it - all I accomplished in 2008.  Ok, I assure you there's more, but there's only so much introspection available in one evening.  Smell ya later!

Roger and I have had many challenges in interior design.  He prefers very modern, very bachelor-pad-esque decor, like the Barcelona chair, and if everything had effing brocades on it I would be happy.  But, in many ways, this has lead us to a strangely happy medium.  From Cuks to Blu Dot, our home is surprisingly almost furnished.

It only took a year.

How can furnishing a home take a year?

It's mostly explained by our design incompatibility, but is compounded by the fact that Ro is indecisive, and I have serious design anxiety/regret/inner turmoil.  In any case, these factors left us without kitchen chairs for three months.  I finally just caved and bought these cheap Blu Dot chairs at the annual warehouse sale, and even though the chairs aren't permanent, they're somehow making this lofty condo feel like a home.  While I still hate the chairs, I can finally sit at my freaking expensive Saarinen table and blog.  So we're all winners, right?

Now I just need a mate for my Eames chair.

So Minneapolis has had 20 days below zero this winter.  The average is 28 days (basically an entire month), so apparently we have at least another week of this.  While it's pretty boring to talk about weather, let alone blog about weather, hopefully I can keep you interested for another few minutes.

I recently procured a puppy, an adorable sweet little thing named Ted.  Ted is a pug, and (suposedly) by nature she is sensitive to extreme temperatures.  I am of the opinion that if it falls into the category of "extreme," by nature most things are sensitive to it.  But I digress.  Ted is obviously very smart, because she refuses to go outside during these periods of extreme temperature.  I must also admit that Ted is very light and easily maneuvered, so she goes outside anyway.  She really does hate the cold (and the salt on the sidewalk), and shows her displeasure by just. not. moving.

Yes friends, we go outside and Ted essentially collapses and rolls on her back, as if this will protect her from the cold.  I guess it's protecting her feet, but exposing one's hairless belly to the elements is not ideal either.

Anyway, this has lead to some accidents in the house, and it's like we're retrograding her house training.  I'm trying not to get discouraged, but it's hard to be encouraged when your dog is pooping on your admittedly stupidly expensive rug.  Apparently we have an average of 8 more days of this, and I'm excited to see what else she can ruin!

Julia Stiles & Butthead

Writing, like comedy and politics, is a narcissistic art form, relying on the assumption that other people care about what you have to say.*  The most narcissistic form of writing is the autobiography.  The autobiography, unless written by someone truly interesting, talented and famous, is the most sincere form of self flattery (and is still the most sincere form of self flattery even if you are interesting and talented and famous, but at least then you deserve some sincere self flattery).  You're allowed to recall things in your wittiest "I should have said" state, where people cower at your charm, your balls and your neverending knowledge.

I'm currently reading James Frey's A Million Little Pieces.  I realize Frey has been charged with fabricating some of the story.  After insisting repeatedly throughout the autobiography that he is wanted in three states, someone actually checked, and Frey is not the criminal he wishes he were.  Regardless, he maintains the rest of the story, where he is a recovering megaaddict, who, despite being crippled by drugs and pain, has the ability to talk the toughest smack on demand.  A recovering megaaddict who, despite being crippled by drugs and pain, beats the crap out of the fellow addicts to dare to insult his character.  A recovering megaaddict who is "the worst addict the clinic has ever seen," and yet he says the wittiest things to his fellow addicts and counselors, and he manages to have enough strength to beat them up.  Yeah.

To me, the fabrications about his jail time aren't really so bad.  It's the narcissism that's evident in every sentence.  A narcicissm that screams "I AM A BADASS.  I AM SMARTER THAN YOU.  I AM AN ADDICT AND I AM AWESOME."  Because there's no way this figurative shell of a man could have had the mind, body and balls to do the things he claims he did.  I really wish I could call Leonard and he'd say, "James? Doesn't ring a bell."

Other than that, I'm really enjoying the book.

*The kind writer recognizes the hypocrisy in saying that people who write are narcissistic.

Like thousands of other people last Friday, I got an iPhone.  I'm more or less ambivilent to Macs and other Apple products - while I feel they have the right idea with simplicity and streamlining, I also think they focus too much on appearance and not enough on product longevity.  Despite these feelings, I threw down $800 for a phone.

So far it's pretty cool.  My favorite feature is the (generally) fast internet.  Catching up on celebrity gossip on my 25 minute walk home through the sometimes freezing sometimes humid Minneapolis skyway (as described by Jon Stewart when I saw him a couple months ago - "Minneapolis is great.  But then there's this other Minneapolis 20 feet above the city, and that Minneapolis has a Hooters.") is really priceless and makes the walk seem more like 20 minutes.

Why am I taking the Minneapolis skyway when it's gorgeous out?  Well, mostly because my allergies have taken over my body and I now feel like an alien host to phlegm, snot, tears and itchy histamines.  Basically, I've aged about 65 years in the past few days.  In fact, I'm so old I came home from work today, slept 4 hours and am now considering going back to sleep once I finish this blog.  The only thing that separates me from your grandmother is this iPhone.  And if your grams has an iPhone, well, uh, let me know cause that joke isn't going to work anymore I guess.

Sorry loyal readers, I know you die in anticpation of my next post.  I truly hate when people say they're "busy" because they usually mean "I think I'm too important to spend time on this," but I've truly been busy (and coincidentally too important for your shizz).

Things I have been busy with:
1. Buying a condo
Purchasing a home is time consuming, even when your cohabitor does all the work.

2. Deciding what to call my condo because I hate the word condo.  Options:
    Loft
    Flat
    Something less pretentious than loft or flat
The choice is yours!  A la Britney Spears, I'm leaving it up to yall.

3. Work
I recently got "placed" meaning I have a real department and I'm really responsible for things.  I've been working a little late this week to try to get up to speed and I think I'll be working (slightly more) regular hours by next week.

4. Packing to move into ____ (the choice is yours!)
Packing, like signing documintz, is awfully time consuming.  As is moving boxes to my ______.

Vote or die,
veeb

Top ten reasons to go see Pirates of the Caribbean III

10. You feel obligated to complete the trilogy
9. Boredom and confusion turn you on
8. You have no friends to see, laundry to fold, finger nails to pull out and/or anything else you could have done with 3 extra hours of your life
7. You need a cool dark place to sleep
6. You're into the most boring action heros ever
5. Your name is on the movie poster
4. You enjoy being confused beyond belief
3. It's free and you're homeless
2. You are Jerry Bruckheimer
1. There is a gun to your head

Go see it!  It was AWESOME.

Inspired by a McSweeney's list.

Sunless tang
Googgle
Taiwang
Dawgson's Creek
Frodog
Kajagoogoog
McNugggets
Turkey bacong
Norfolk, Vag
Leonardog Dicaprio
Dunking Donuts

As any close friend knows, I'm obsessed with celebrity gossip.  I actually don't talk about it that much, but I make a very sincere and dedicated effort to read Us Weekly weekly and Perez Hilton daily.  I lo ve and root for most celebrities, including Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears (I am almost giving up on your girl), Robert Downey Jr, et al.  You might notice I specialize in substance abusing stars.  These are my favorites.

While celebrities are just human, they likely have some great/fascinating stories, funny friends and lots of money, not to mention drugs, so they are special (more special than you) and I would like to know more of them.

There are, however, some celebrities I just have absolutely no interest in.  Be it their face, work, personality or otherwise, I'm just a little "eh."  I suppose this would change if I like, saw them at the airport or something, but really, I truly don't want to be friends with these people.  For example, Jon Mayer  was recently removed from this list, as he is infinitely more interesting now that he's dating Jessica Simpson.

8.  Dave Coulier : I cannot forgive him for Uncle Joey.
7.  Shaggy : I can't even picture what he looks like.
6.  Nicole Kidman : Snoozefest and really bad plastic surgery as of late.
5.  Haylie Duff : She looks like a horse, and this cannot redeem her Hilary Duff connection.
4.  Eddie Griffin : I just don't think he's funny or good looking.
3.  Ron Jeremy : He is just so, so gross looking.  Have you seen the Surreal Life?
2.  Tori Spelling : I just really don't care about anything she does, also her face.
1.  Avril Lavigne : Mostly because of her face.

So, I lied about not knowing why I don't like the celebrities on this list... it's mostly related to looks.  If anyone on the above list happens to read this blog, and would like to defend his/her face, please contact me.